How to help our child develop their autonomy

Dressing alone, participating in household chores, learning to manage your school work ... These skills, developed during early childhood, will be useful to him all his life!Here are pro tips to help our child become fully independent.

We set up rituals to promote the child's autonomy

Very early on, still baby, our child learns that before leaving for the nanny or school, he must eat, wash, dress ...

To help him, from 2-3 years, you can create a frieze with drawings of each action to do in the morning before leaving the house.We place scratchs on it, and he sticks the corresponding cards when he has accomplished the action.

The Psy Council: "To memorize what to do, a child needs detailed routines, to repeat the same gestures daily, in the same order," explains Anne-Claire Kleindienst.

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Baby, child ... we teach him to do alone

To become independent, the child must first acquire skills, according to his age and psychomotor development.For example, before asking it to extend the linen or to fold it (possible with a certain skill and motor skills acquired around 7 years old).It's up to us to show him the technique.Even if it takes more time at the start, and it's not perfect right away, it's a step!And if he is wrong, the psychologist recommends seizing this error as a learning opportunity.We show, we adjust and repeat!

Likewise, to let him go to buy bread, Charlotte Poussin, Montessori educator, also advises to show him how we do it, next to him.Then, the next time, he in turn asked for bread.Then he will recover the money.Later, when he can, he will count the currency rendered.Then we will stay outside the bakery, etc..

The advice of the Montessori educator: "When we entrust a mission to him, he learns to do and at the same time, he feels useful.He sees that we need him, "says Charlotte Poussin.

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Children learn by many imitation

As soon as we do something, we show him, depending on his age, what he can do on his side.Thus, he will see us empty the dishwasher, put the cover ... At the beginning, he will help us: for example put away the small spoons, bring salt and pepper to the table ... little by little, he can undertake to do thingsall alone.We go gradually to make it natural, and even a reflex.Children learn a lot by imitation, so we take advantage of it!

How to help baby be more and more independent?

"We recognize a good worker by his tools," says the proverb.If our child overturned his bowl of milk, he must know, from 4-5 years old, where to find the sponge to clean, and manage on its own.And even if the result is not nickel, it is the intention that counts!Did he sali the mirror by washing his teeth?We put him to have, around 7-8 years old, a cloth and a sprayer, with a mixture of white vinegar and water in an easy-to-access place, reminding him to be careful with.To cook, he can have his own utensils and recipe books adapted to his age.

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We help him develop his self -confidence

In some schools, the teacher attributes to students a "job": clean the table, distribute documents ... We can do the same thing at home.Anne-Claire Kleindienst thus suggests showing with magnets or papers all household chores that he is able to do.Then he chooses those he thinks of being able to achieve.He sticks these activities (at most seven) on a commitment band.To us, benevolent adults, to accompany him to find out when and how he can do them!A great tool to help him acquire good self -confidence.

How to lead a child to autonomy?

Around 9-10 years old, we can also encourage our child to note things to do on a to-do list.Then he sorts what he can do and what he needs the help of an adult."It is a way of breaking down the work.The tasks seem smaller, easier to carry out.It avoids procrastinating.And when he scratches the task carried out, it disappears visually and it feels good, ”adds the psychologist.He will draw satisfaction and gain self -esteem.Finally, we supervise, without being intrusive, the preparation of the satchel for the next day.

The advice of the Montessori educator: "The schedule of a child is very directed.We can let him choose if he wants to do his homework after tasting or if he wants to play a little before.To have a good representation of time, you can use a time, a timer that shows the past and remaining time.The child is thus more master of his time and is gaining autonomy, "explains Charlotte Poussin.

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Baby, child…: We give him time to grow!

Difficult to ask her child, especially if he is very young, to dress alone overnight.In addition to psychomotor capacities, learning new gestures takes time.We therefore plan to teach him when we are relaxed, on weekends, on vacation ... You prepare your outfit the night before by favoring clothes that are easy to put.For his coat, we show him that it is easier to put it on the ground and put it on like a cape ... at the Superman!And in the morning, we get up 5 minutes earlier to give him time to tie his buttons on her own, make his laces ... He will be less in a hurry, more relaxed and therefore more able to succeed!

We encourage your child every day

Your baby grows ... but at his own pace!Whenever he does something, we tell him his progress: "I appreciate when you contribute ...", "Thanks to your perseverance, you made your laces", "I saw how you managed to dothat, you are able to do that too ”… He will be proud to grow.And if he forgot a notebook by making his satchel, he is encouraged because he has already been penalized by this inattention.No need to add.A fun and stimulating atmosphere will also encourage him to do more things: you can clean by singing, listening to music, speaking to someone ... Applications also allow an attractive approach.For example, Happy Kids Timer helps repeat the morning and evening routines.

The Psy Council: "The psychiatrist Rudolf Dreikurs, a disciple of Alfred Adler, said that" encouragement is to the child what water is to the plant ".It creates a motivating dynamic.The more the child feels capable and useful, the more he is satisfied with him, "explains Anne-Claire Kleindienst.

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Let him choose and decide, from the little one

Baby or child, we avoid doing everything and deciding for him.From 3 years old, he can choose between two outfits the one he wants to wear.Later, he selects his clothes on his own by ensuring the season and matching the colors.We include it in projects.We let him train to close the pimples of his coat.

The advice of the educator Montessori: "From 6 years old, he is asked, for example, where he would like to go this afternoon, how to get there (public transport, car, cycling ...), how are youCosting ... He can use Google Map, ask a passerby the way.Children are often quite passive.There he sees that we take into account his opinion.It develops its ability to adapt, its self -esteem, its social qualities, and its resourcefulness.», Assures Charlotte Poussin.

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We are inspired by the principles “Montessori”

We adopt the basic Montessori principles to help it develop its autonomy.On a daily basis, we set up furniture that will make it independent of adults to accomplish certain simple activities.For example, in his room, from 2 years old, we stick photos on the bins so that he puts his toys there.We put labels for his sweaters, his pants ... we put a coat hook at his height so that he hooks his coat there.To wash his teeth above the sink, we install a step.Around 8 years old, so that he can choose his clothes in the morning, we put them away at his height.In short, we promote everything that gives him independence in his daily life.And we are inspired by the educational principles “Montessori” to help him grow.

A lire aussiAuteur : Dorothée Blancheton*Anne-Claire Kleindienst, psychologue clinicienne, auteure des coffrets “Rituels de la journée” et “Organisation de la maison” chez Mango.**Charlotte Poussin, éducatrice Montessori AMI, ancienne directrice d’école et auteure de “Apprends-moi à faire seul, Montessori expliqué aux parents” (Eyrolles) et “Ma journée Montessori” (Bayard). Son site : https://montessoricharlottepoussin.com Article publié le